How Do I Even Begin?
Even as I am sitting down to write this, I’m not sure what to say or how to say it. I’m sure like many of you, my thoughts are extra scattered, sometimes positive, sometimes negative, mostly confusing and feeling like I’m living another life than I had just a few weeks ago.
I keep going back to the thoughts I wrote about in November on my 40th birthday. I spent that entire day on such a high of being thankful, appreciative, and introspective on how I felt about my life. I’m so happy now that I wrote down those thoughts as they have become a way to remind myself what I should be focusing on.
This is similar to that post in that it is for me… for me to have as a record of my thoughts and feelings during the COVID-19 pandemic. At the same time, I figured I could just share it here on the chance it may resonate with you.
But First, Where Did We Leave Off?
My last blog posts were from Christmas. That seems like a lifetime ago and so many things have changed since then. In a nutshell, we spent January and February skiing when we could and looking at new homes.
Keith was working on his strength and endurance while skiing, but it continued to be a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Some days he did great and then other days he began to question the health of his knee. On March 1st he decided his season was over. He was in too much pain and needed to explore why his knee was still giving him so much trouble. At that point we were well aware of COVID-19, but did not fully understand the impact it would have over the next few days, weeks and months.
So Much So Quick
As I said, we skied on March 1st and within 10 days so much happened so quickly. Keith had his knee drained again and he scheduled an appointment for PRP therapy. We packed all our belongings and moved into our new home! Plus we cleaned and prepared the other property for rental. Not to mention a variety of appointments; bank, realtor, house inspection, closing, installation of washer and dryer, internet, etc.
We basically moved in and haven’t left since! It’s crazy to think that our normal routine now only involves leaving the house for Lexi’s laser therapy each week, grocery shopping every 3 weeks and anything else that is absolutely necessary.
Ying and Yang
Over the past several weeks we’ve had our ups and downs, just the same as all of you. We’ve been thankful to be in our new home, we’ve been worried sick about family members and friends, we’ve been disappointed in the choices others have made, we’ve been stressed about what is safe and what is not.
We’ve been frustrated with appointments cancelled, we’ve been inspired by the actions of others, we’ve appreciated the slower pace of the day, we’ve been concerned about finances, we’ve experienced a rather large earthquake.
We’ve heard of blessings bestowed on those we love, we’ve been reconnected with others, we’ve anxiously awaited the vet to open because Lexi’s was sick through the night, we’ve had family members experience medical emergencies, we’ve prayed and prayed….
How Do You Respond To A Crisis?
It’s been hard to know what to think or how to respond to what is going on. Some days I spend time laughing at meme’s that depict the irony of life right now, some days I spend time researching the latest information on the virus, some days I am weighed down by the sadness others are experiencing, some days I spend time watching uplifting stories of compassion, some days I find myself blown away by the creativity of others and some days I wonder how daily life will ever resemble itself again.
The one thing I feel that is especially important to do right now is to focus on the good. Nearly every day there is something, if not many things, that can be classified as “not good.” Focusing on the good doesn't mean bad things won’t happen. I’ve been trying to look at each day and turn anything not good into a silver lining thought. I'm also more aware and especially thankful for the good things that do happen.
Right front the start, I’ve tried to make the most of some of the time I have each day. I’ve been able to talk with family and friends more than normal and catch up on the church sermons I listen to online. There are new recipes I’ve finally made and new exercises I've wanted to try at home. I'm taking walks around our new neighborhood and learning a new video editing program. Notice I said “some of the time”... the other part of that is some of the time I’ve not felt like doing much of anything and I’m okay with that.
Especially now, I’ve found that jotting down 3-5 things I want to do each day has been helping in keeping me on track to feel accomplished at the end of the day. Very broadly these include activities that help me to focus on spirituality/religion, connecting with loved ones, exercise, cooking, chores, personal growth, entertainment, etc. For me, focusing on these lends to seeing the good and feeling some sense of normalcy.
Focus on the Good
I recently saw something on Facebook that refers to this pandemic and how we are not all in the same boat even though we are facing the same storm. This put into words for me how I was feeling, thinking about others and really hit home what I couldn’t quite put my finger on. So many of us are in different boats and it’s hard to really know exactly what others are going through. Some are not at a point to focus on the good and even though I am now, that could all change in an instant.
I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life although, I have had some challenging times. Even then I tried to find a silver lining for each day. What I’m trying to say is that having gratitude, no matter how small, can help you through anything. This storm will pass eventually and finding ways to cope in the meantime may make the difference in how your outlook on life will be after the pandemic.
So, What Are You Doing Through This Storm?
How has your life been affected by the pandemic? What is your storm like?
What is helping you to cope with the changes?
Have you developed a new routine? Is there a silver lining in your new routine?
What are you learning about yourself during this time?
Comment below or on Facebook to share what you are experiencing.